Deer behind the trees

Look at all these people. Everyone sitting there just to listen to me. Do they really want to listen to me? Why would they want to listen to me? They are all intelligent people. Everyone knows that I got the chance to speak only because Lena couldn’t make it. If she could, nobody would have bothered to come to me. My shyness has always cost me. People need more outspoken people, people who can interact with everyone and maintain a business relation with them. Use them when needed, do their work for them, whatever it may. I cannot do that, I am not able to trust people. But now all these people wait to hear me. Oh man! This is just the worst. I should run away right now. I should go and just not look back. But I work for the firm.. how can I leave this and not have repercussions back at work? This is a nightmare. I wish Sid was with me right now. He would have known easily what to do and what to say. I miss him. This is great… I had to start reminiscing right now. Just great. That peon is staring at me. Oh God! Why do I always cry when I think of him! This is just a nightmare. I cannot seem to stop my thoughts. Stop! Just stop! Don’t think about anything. Just hum a song. You will be alright. This is good… Just not thinking anything. Hahahaha. Such an idiot. That peon is ogling at me. This small cabinet is exasperating. I wish it had been some bigger office. This is so small. Ugh!! I hate this. I hate everything. Man! That peon is really having a moment, isn’t he? Just staring. I wonder what is turning him on. Maybe just the fact that I am a woman. Big news, right. The peon is going. Haash! I can breathe a little now. Phew! Well, let’s down this glass of water and show them. Oh! That peon is back here. He has another peon with him. Well now they are both staring. The other man is staring directly at my breasts. Wow! Such nonchalance. Now the peon is coming towards me. What the hell! Hahaha. Be cool. Don’t freak out. Maybe it is just a normal thing.

“Hello, Madamji.”

“Hello, what is it that you want?”

The peon smiled, “Madamji, the chairman asked me to tell you that your vehicle is not properly put. Can you come and shift it please?”

“Well, I…. I…I put it properly. Tell me the number so that I know it’s my vehicle only.”

The other peon came walking now, he smirked and nodded to the other. “I don’t know the number, madamji. Just come with us. You will have to come through the back. The front is full of people and it will take us time then.”, said the peon.

“Alright alright. I will come then. Let’s go.”

I start walking but my mind is telling me ‘no’. I again start feeling suffocated. My body doesn’t seem to support the movement. My knees are buckling down and I can feel the weight of my body.

“Bhai, I cannot come. I have to go on stage in a while. I will shift it later.”, I said after I gathered up some courage.

“But madam….” I shush the peon before he can say anything. “S-S-Sorry but I cannot.”

I start walking towards the stage and the peons seem to follow me. I tread swiftly and I stumble into the stage just as my name is being called. The speech now seems an easy task. I go on the stage, the encounter still afresh in my mind. The peons thought that they could fool me easily. Only my dad could fool me that easily. I really wanted to see deers behind those trees.

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