Comprehending Depression – I

Ever get that feeling where you feel all lonely and hollow? When you can’t make sense of what is going on and everything seems monotonous, bleak and morose. Even when you are surrounded by your best friends and loved ones you just feel detached from them as if they can’t make sense of what’s going through your mind. When you tell them about it they will tell you that it’s all in the state of mind, if you think happy, you are happy. But it’s not that easy, is it? You constantly think of everything wrong with you, this life and this world and constantly avert activities that affect your thoughts behaviour, feelings and sense of well-being. You contemplate and many times come to the conclusion that there is no value or worth to life in reality. We all are just going with the flow with no idea on what is the purpose of the life we live, the developments we make, and the purpose of humanity. Even if we are remembered when we die, is there any true worth to it? Why is being remembered considered such a great, wholesome idea when they are just people who have no idea what they are doing in this world?

But what if the purpose of life is just to live it? Maybe this life is not to achieve something great, but to live your life and accept what comes along the way. What if by living our lives we are giving a meaning and purpose to it? Should we waste our limited time on such a beautiful place, thinking about all the wrongs we had to suffer? There are people suffering far worse than us but for a person their pain is their own. No other person can know about it, feel it even if that person has gone through similar circumstances. But that doesn’t mean that we have to live our life around it. Dejection and depression are things experienced by each and every human being on this planet. But the aim is to learn from it. Some people think that death is the only way out of their misery. But do you really want to end a life that has been given to you without even knowing what lies ahead for you? There is no guarantee but still there is more to life than the problem you are currently facing.

Future Past & Present sign in the sky

Everyone is fighting daily and they are trying to better themselves. We don’t know their struggle, they keep a façade while they are struggling with their inner demons. When we are depressed, we find everyone’s life to be way better than ours. But maybe they are just so good at concealing it, we never know. Who knows what’s going on in the life of the doorman who always smiles for us? Who knows what’s really going on in the life of the friend who is always laughing and never wants anyone to feel sad? Maybe they have a reason to make others laugh or smile, maybe they don’t want others to feel the same way they do. We can never really know what is going on inside the mind of a person. They can be so depressed that they may have no will to live. Robin Williams is one of the examples of it. A great actor and phenomenal stand-up comedian but ultimately hanged himself due to depression which was caused due to Dementia with Lewy bodies. His ultimate goal in life was to make people laugh and he did that, but what about the sadness developing inside him. The whole world was shocked because none had thought that such an energetic and happy man would hang himself, that too because of depression.

Youre-only-given-a-little-spark-of-madness

Nowadays, death of a relative or a friend is not that big a cause of depression. People have accepted death of people as a normal, rudimentary thing. Rejection and failure have become major causes of depression in today’s youth. In old times, people were happy with their lives and the fear of failure was not that large as everyone could always do something or the other. Parental pressure in India is also one of the leading causes but let’s talk about that later. Now the competition has risen and the world has become a live volcano with people trying to survive the hot lava. Elder people complain about youth’s depression and problems. But frankly, they can’t possibly understand the problems as they have had different problems to face. They don’t know how even though one has everything one feels empty. Rejection and failure can have a lasting impact on a human being. It shreds up the confidence a person has to survive in this world. A person sees others living the dream, with a job they are passionate about and love of their life. This creates a want for that person to achieve that dream. But when rejection comes through he/she loses the self-esteem they held for themselves. They see themselves as worthless human beings who cannot manage to get something out of their life. Even after getting rejected it doesn’t stop, does it? You see the same person with someone else, you hear that a person having lower qualifications than you get the job, making you lose any dignity that you have for yourselves. You see yourself as the pathetic lump waiting for death to put out the misery that is life. You feel like you have lost that winsome tulip that we ceaselessly yearn throughout our dreary workaday lives. But aren’t we being a little selfish here? There are people who have gotten countless more rejections than you have. They are still living their lives, moving on. Why do we give someone so much attention that we start to think that we cannot live without them? Why can’t we drive that attention to ourselves? Why is that we constantly crave for attention from one person while we ignore the ones giving it to us daily? We shouldn’t wrap it on our minds that we won’t be able to survive without that one person. We lived before that and we can live after that too. Learn to love yourselves and not to drive yourselves to the brink of destruction for that one person. Don’t think that you will die alone, everybody gets someone in their life. But it doesn’t necessarily have to be a lover, it can be a loving sister or a very understanding friend. There is more to life than this romantic love. Learn to love that everything happens for a reason and that there is a whole life ahead of you to be lived, things to be done. Failure in not scoring or not getting the job that the society considers to be good is not the end of the world. There is so much in life one can do. Don’t limit yourself to only one thing, make room for other adventures to enter your life. Failure and rejection doesn’t determine what kind of a person you are but how you live your life does. If we think about it, and if there is no utility to this life, then why don’t we just make this world a better place by giving everyone a smile and helping them pick up their pieces? You see an ocean, it goes on and on and has a depth still not reached by mankind. The waves clash with the land, seeking some recognition from its friend. Humans are similar, everyone has a depth beyond understanding but the depth doesn’t need to be measured if one just accepts the calmness and the tumultuousness of the surface.

ocean

People hide so many things that they smother themselves. Coming out of the closet is a big thing and people are now starting to be brave about it. We all are humans, a helping hand to them won’t hurt anyone if we leave aside our beliefs and welcome everyone with arms spread wide open. Depression doesn’t need to have a big reason. So instead of chiding a person for being sad about small things, help him/her understand about the bigger things in life. Make them feel the need to live life again and not deride them. But don’t empathise with them so much, that you pity their plight and go towards the same direction. One of my friends says that we have no right to feel sorry for them until we have been through the same plight. She says that these people are desperately trying to be happy and if we start behaving in the same way then there is no use of it. The goal is to give them a feeling of purpose, not join them. Don’t just exist. Live life to the fullest. Laugh with your friends in smallest matters. Love your people, go on exploring. Why waste our time when there is so much beauty to be explored? Find beauty not only in places but in people also. Because ultimately, this world is survived by humans only…

2 thoughts on “Comprehending Depression – I

    • Thank you for replying. I have tried to because I also have had similar problems. At last everything just turns out fine. The goal is to move on. Glad I could connect with you.

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